Finding Confidence

How is it that I feel comfortable posting a picture of my bikini-clad bum on Instagram, yet have a fear of putting my foot in my mouth in front of a new friend or coworker?

This is a rhetorical question that I am merely using to ease into the main topic of this post… Clearly, or we would just let my tukas do the talking, pardon the French. 

It is a known fact that we all have areas of our being from which we derive confidence. Comparatively there are also areas that we feel self-conscious and unsure of.

I could not possibly write a whole post on the roots of human self-consciousness and over-coming said insecurities through fitness, diet, self-talk, therapy, getting a dog, running, doing Pilates, calling your mom/dad/sister-in-law/Aunt Suzie, writing a blog… or you know, whatever helps. So instead I will narrow it down and briefly discuss my continuing journey to accept and move past my own insecurities.

Humans are very dimensional beings. There are aspects of ourselves that we value highly and others that we maybe wish were a little different. We are all prey to this in one way or another. It is a constant game of putting ourselves in different situations that highlight our strengths and downplay our weaknesses. We dress ourselves specifically to accomplish this, put ourselves in different social situations where we will have something valuable to add, and choose activities that fall into the ‘strengths’ category.

Perhaps because I am making such huge generalizations I will switch to the first person. 

I have always been guilty of all of these things. I change outfits multiple times, avoid situations where I fear I may sound stupid, and pick activities that I know I will excel in.  It is such a limiting way to live life and I hate feeling bad about myself. I have now lived long enough to have a general sense of my own identity, which is detailed in my about me, and have become familiar with exactly what it is that makes me feel less-than. So I slowly started learning how to accept my shortcomings and my insecurities.

So how does one gain confidence to accept their weaknesses? Tying back to a previous post, we must stop making comparisons. I learned that a main cause of these this was noticing others moving through life with none of these weaknesses. In fact, I tended to ONLY notice when others excelled in areas that I struggled. Why?

Why did I only pay attention to the ways in which I was failing (in my own mind) and others were simultaneously succeeding? Why did I only seem to notice when others seemed good at the thing I struggled with?

My mind is a tricky, tricky beast and I needed to learn how to control it.  So I slowly learned how to accept my weaknesses and actually learn to appreciate them.

I am not perfect; I make mistakes, feel bad about myself, throw tantrums, spend money frivolously, swear at inappropriate times…the list goes on. And I’m fine with it. Yes, I would like to work on a number of these things and I will, but what I am not going to do is beat myself up over it and compare myself to others who excel in the areas I do not.

Do you struggle with comparisons? What are some weaknesses you have come to accept and maybe appreciate? 

❤ Cammy