A few thoughts on trying to find things that make you happy, when you can’t do the things that you normally would.
Still in recovery from back surgery and I’m worried I haven’t been careful enough. I haven’t done strenuous things, mostly because I have no energy (this is why), but I have done things like carry the laundry up the stairs, and pick up a 30lb puppy. According to my doctor this is bad.
It is very difficult being so cautious all the time, especially when the pain is gone and I feel normal (weak, but normal). I mean, I can’t just stare at the laundry all day, hoping it carries itself up the stairs and puts itself away! As the symptoms have subsided, I have to constantly remind myself that although I may feel fine, my body is still healing.
For the past week I have had an aching pain down my leg, my hips are sore, and my back is stiff. I am terrified I did something to compromise the healing process. Most likely, my body is having a normal reaction to growing a human, but still…
What can I do to be happy, when I can’t do the things I used to?
I have been out of my normal routine for almost 4 months now. You would think that I’d have adjusted to a new routine, forgotten the old one, and created new habits for myself. The truth is, the more time goes on the more desperate I am to revert back to the old me. I cannot wait for my body to heal, and to not be afraid that functioning normally in day-to-day life will send me into surgery again.
What was so special about my routine, that I am unable to do now?
- My fitness regimen (working out at home, going to the gym, taking classes, teaching classes, running).
- Eating healthier food
- Chores! Laundry, gardening, putting things away, moving things around..
- Work. being around people, having a steady income.
It doesn’t take much to make me happy! Really just the basics, I never thought I would miss the little things so much. It is so frustrating to not be able to do the simplest things.
So what do I do instead so I don’t dwell on what I can’t do?
- Going to the beach
These things keep me occupied for now, and they are all things I LOVE, but they’re only a piece. I feel incomplete without the other pieces, almost like I can only participate in half the activities that make me who I am.
I accept it, though, and for now until I can be ME again, I will focus on delicious food and the sound of the tide lapping on the beach.
Until next time,