A Completely Overwhelming and Selfless Kind of Love

Good morning!

Trying to get back into the swing of writing after surviving the somewhat brutal 4th trimester of pregnancy (aka the first three months at home with a newborn). Let’s see how it goes!

Just a slight disclaimer here before I scare anyone off; No, I am not going to only write about motherhood and babies. Would some part of me like to? YES! And I totally understand why there are so many blogs about motherhood, part of me wants to start one. But not now, and not this blog.Β 

It’s hard to describe what changes when you have a child. I find that just to say “everything changes” is vague and misleading. First of all, the amount of love and happiness that I feel for my son is remarkable and impossible to describe. Everything takes a backseat. Everything. Friendships change; instantly becoming better friends with other moms, especially new moms like myself, at the same time having a curtain drawn between friendships with those still ‘unburdened’ with children. I try to explain to my single friends exactly how unburdened I am, when children sound like nothing but sacrifice and stress. The truth is that I wouldn’t have it any other way.Β 

I love seeing stackable cups and bath time books strewn across the floor. I cherish the moments when Bodhi goes down for his nap in the late morning and I putter around his little room picking up stray socks, listening to his sound machine tweeting softly.

The biggest challenge for me was establishing my new identity, finding common ground between who I am to myself and who I am to my baby. My fear of becoming mommy and only mommy was overwhelming because I could not see how Cammy the Mom and Cammy the Pilates Instructor/Writer/Bartender/Jokester/Ditz (yes.), could coexist.

What I have learned over the past couple of months is that the two ‘Me’s’ are not mutually exclusive. There is one Me, and motherhood is not a replacement but a glorious addition.

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Little Bear, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you; you are my everything. And you will love me even more for doing some things for myself too because you are your own person as much as I am, as much as we all are.Β 

 

Until next time!

<3 Cammy

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